Get me the turds/hour analytics, STAT!

Sometimes you wonder if the people writing project BIM requirements are taking the piss. I can excuse the LOD 600 requirement that was included in an RFP a while back as plain ignorance, or even an affectionate Spinal Tap tribute. But when Toilet Data is included in the list of requirements for future property management in the BMS system, you have to wonder why?

The befuddled BIM hero who sent in this contribution suggested a potential use “I can imagine the top management wanting live dashboards giving them Tph (Turds per hour) metrics, so they can fine tune the thickness of the canteen sandwiches…”

Digital Twins – The new, unwanted buzzword

First there was “Virtual Building“, a Graphisoft trademark they use to differentiate between ArchiCAD and what was referred to as “Flat CAD”, the 2D drafting board analogue from Autodesk, which was launched the same year as the visionary Hungarian BIM tool’s first iteration, Radar CH.

Next there was BIM, Building Information Modelling, coined by Autodesk in their 2002 white paper, attributed to Phil Bernstein.

Software vendors love a hype wave to follow, re-branding their tired old products with the latest buzzword to try and shift more licenses by scaring customers into thinking they will miss the wave and lose out to competitors. “SuperDuperCAD-X, the market leading CAD/Virtual Building/BIM/Level 3/VDC/Digital Engineering/DfMA authoring tool is now leading the way in Digital Twin capability!”

For years they were banging on about BIM will reduce costs by 50% but all that happened was a “BIM Team” was created in the business, and then treated like “drafters”, glorified tracers (if you don’t know what is a tracer, ask one of the old guys in your organisation). As there was zero engagement between the engineering teams and these BIM jockeys, designs being done in 2D, even drawn up in 2D CAD before handing over to the BIM guys to do their stuff. You might as well have thrown money down the toilet.

BIM added costs without benefits. And now there is Digital Twins.

The thing is, we already have digital twins, in scenarios where it makes commercial sense and add value. A digital twin of a building is just bollocks. The cost of setting up and maintaining a digital twin with all the sensors and stuff is significant, and to be honest, you don’t really need a fully detailed BIM model to make use of it. Just some floor plans, PDFs.

The CAD companies promoting Digital Twins will be really pissed when the market decides they don’t need all that BIM modelling bullshit and just need dashboards and databases.

When is a Questionnaire not a Questionnaire?

Consulting for the lazy

Hong Kong’s Construction Industry Council (CIC) are tasked with implementing the government’s BIM initiatives and have employed US bean counter led engineering consultancy AECOM to drive the development of a case requirement study for 3D and BIM Data.

Never one to spend a dollar on a task if they can get someone else to do it, and gain an unfair advantage at the same time, AECOM have basically asked the BIM people invited to make up their own questions, to provide them with valuable data that would allow them to bid for and win future projects more efficiently.

Tell us what you know about BIM, so we can do it better. Example 1

Not content with finding out what you know, they also want to find out what would make their bids more effective for future projects by identifying gaps in the current processes they can exploit and wow the clients with their boundless knowledge and BIM chops.

All your base are belong to us

Much BIM. So Collaborate

Clients who know nothing about BIM Part 1.

This wishy-washy BIM requirements “specification” is taken from the terms of reference for a major expansion to an airport terminal. This is the entirety of the BIM requirements for the project.

The could have just put in a clause, “just give us some BIM please”.

Such BIM

Fool me once, shame on — shame on you

Shame on you

It never ceases to amaze how badly organised some larger companies are. Here’s an example of an HR drone’s shotgun approach to recruitment, sending a mail about a job to a BIM warrior who left the company a few month’s earlier, and who is currently employed in a more senior role. I’d like to think this was an isolated incident, but FFS I received a similar mail a few weeks later.

Fool me twice

Let’s get things started

 

Yes Gordon, it is as bad as it looks
Yes Gordon, it is as bad as it looks

To get things started, the BIM Weasel sent me this email exchange recently, which demonstrates a promising level of BIM fuckwittery from the Project Manager.

From: Manager, Project 
To: Weasel, BIM <bim.weasel@*******.com>; Engineer, Lead <lead.engineer@*******.com>
Subject: RE: New Project BIM PxP – essential reading

Lead Engineer,

There is no need for you to read this document.

Regards

PM

From: Weasel, BIM
To: Engineer, Lead <lead.engineer@*******.com>
Cc: Manager, Project <project.manager@*******.com>
Subject: New Project BIM PxP – essential reading

Lead Engineer,

May I suggest that you read the following document carefully, if you have not already done so? It is central to the proper delivery of this project: New Project (Airport Stuff) – BIM PXP.pdf

Regards,

The BIM Weasel

Digital Delivery Specialist