It is true that BIM is a niche filled to the brim with acronyms. In rather an overuse of the things, it is often necessary to include an entire appendix section just to cover them all. Wondering what your MIDP has to do with a RACI, or unsure whether you need LOD or LOIN? There are so many acronyms in use, that it is inevitable that you will get one or two instances of disagreement about what it really stands for. Level of Development, or Level of Detail? Well one meaning that “everyone” has been in agreement with for some time is that BIM = Building Information Modelling. Apart from the odd amusing misuse, such as BIM = Building In Mistakes, or Budget Is Massive, there is a consensus of opinion that spans industry disciplines, geographical regions, cultures and languages. At least, to my knowledge, it has been that way until now.

I have recently been receiving some exciting emails. I could hardly contain myself when, one Monday morning, I should be informed that “our evaluation panel has shortlisted to feature BIM Weasel BIM Consulting (BWBC because acronyms rule of course) as one of the Top 10 BIM Service Companies in APAC”. Finally, our hard work had been recognised and we can make a show of our undisputed BIM chops, or so I thought. Of course, if something looks too good to be true, that’s usually because it is. Back to the email and soon enough came the sentence, “the reprint rights of BWBC’s single-page profile is US$3,000.” Ah. I see. So we were legitimately shortlisted, and this sum does cover the cost of a “Certificate of Honor” (sic), a single page “color Adspace” (sic), and circulation is “55,000 print qualified subscribers” along with “85,000 digital qualified subscribers”. So Construction Tech Review is quite a big thing, is it? Well respected within the industry? I was curious to find out more.

For the sake of argument, and to spare any blushes, let’s call the author of the introductory email Jonathan Malibu. Well, I did the usual due diligence by checking out the author, via LinkedIn, and visiting the website of the publication. LinkedIn found only one Jonathan Malibu, but with an incomplete profile, as well as a Nigerian chap called Malibu Jonathan. So far, so good. Maybe he’s such a successful businessman that he’s too busy for LinkedIn? But what do you suppose I discovered when I visited the website? Hold on to your socks because what you’re about to read is in danger of knocking them right off!

He has been a persistent fellow, this Mr Malibu, so you’ve got to give him that at least. Very keen indeed. Three times now, he has reminded me about his initial introductory email and wants to schedule a call to discuss our well earned reward. I have not replied once. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm, but I am sceptical of any worthwhile source of industry knowledge that refers to BIM as Business Information Modeling. Yes. Eyebrows raised. The very first BIM article I looked at, valiantly railed against collective industry-wide perceived knowledge by changing the meaning of BIM! It has absolutely nothing to do with building anything, apparently.

I do hope that you’ve been carefully modelling your business information?

Word Salad

Once I had recovered my composure, shocked as I was that we had all been using the term BIM incorrectly all these years, I checked out the rest of the article. It was an absolute shitfest of poor grammar, misinformation and vaguely worded bullshit. In fact, a little bit like a UK government statement on how the unrestricted flow of road freight will occur post-Brexit, only without the grammatical errors.

I moved on to another article, entitled How Will the BIM Models Work Efficiently to see if I could glean anything useful, but it was the same sorry story. Poorly understood copy-pasta, not a source of useful information. I would like to think that the entire edifice of Construction Tech Review will get outed and shown the door by the wider community. But then, who should I see pop up with an article in their name? Only industry veteran, knowledge repository and generally nice guy, Richard Kuppusamy. Eyebrows raised again. Unsure as to whether this was original content (pretty sure it’s not), but a quick Google search was briefly put off when I was hit by this cheeky message:

So you can rip off the originators, but your content is copyright? Yeah, sure.

Despite the fact that the text appears to be a transcript from a presentation Richard made back in 2017, I can’t copy-pasta because it’s copyright? No problem Mr Malibu. Such utter horse shit. Anyhow, needless to say, I shall not be taking him up on his offer to pay US$3,000 for some dubious publicity puff-piece which may or may not even appear on a seldom viewed website, or in print.

By Bim Weasel

Born in 1900, in a block of cheese, Bim Weasel has had to struggle from day one. After eating his way out, bursting forth, like some kind of pasteurised Alien alternative, he began trading nuts and seeds before moving on to complex financial derivatives. After making his first million at the tender age of 13 and three quarters, he diversified into commodities. The outbreak of the First World War saw his fortunes rise yet further, as now the owner of copper, bauxite and iron mines in Papua New Guinea and Australia, and rubber plantations in the Dutch East Indies, his holdings shot up in value. The next decade saw Bim spend his fortune on women and fast cars, whilst the rest he just wasted. By the outbreak of World War Two, Bim was destitute and living as a tinker and shoe repairer in a coastal village in Sulawesi. Despite not being a Dutch national, his love of the colour orange saw him interned by Japanese Imperial forces. He was sentenced to execution and only saved at the last minute by a young Jedi. In gratitude Bim joined the Rebel Alliance and saw action on the forest moon of Endor, frozen Hoth and arid Tatooine. Upon his return to earth, with laurels upon his brow and feted as a war hero, he wanted nothing more than to return to nature and work the land; a simple agrarian lifestyle, far away from conflict. He kept a low profile and slipped from the public consciousness, his past largely forgotten and his true identity unknown to those few mortals who met him on his occasional forays into urban areas in search of cheap thrills and rice flour. He may have remained forgotten and unknown, wandering Southeast Asia as a vagabond, had he not overheard a conversation in a bar one night whilst on one of his jaunts into civilisation. A pair of businessmen were talking in hushed tones about a new disruptive force, sweeping all before it and trampling all over norms and customs the world over. No, this was not a US presidential candidate, but an American software developer called Autodesk, and in particular a product called Revit. Intrigued, Bim sought knowledge and found a ready source of pudgy, pallid and poorly dressed men from the damp isles of Britain; a cold and windswept outpost on the extreme fringes of Northern Europe. A destination even the all-conquering Roman legions decided to abandon due to its inhospitable climate, arcane traditions and warm beer. However, it turned out that living in fog and drizzle for three hundred days of the year also accelerated creativity and the ability to generate a seemingly endless number of Microsoft PowerPoint slideshows, as well as memes. Bim immediately felt comfortable in this land of sunlight starved and sexually repressed Gollums, and within a short time he had established himself as a purveyor of some of the finest slideshows, Yammer posts and memes. Bim travelled the world, expounding eager audiences with tales of 15-20% efficiency gains, whilst providing little or no hard evidence. It was like a dream come true for Bim, having felt that he had discovered his true calling! The rise of Bim has since been vertiginous, with almost all nations, states, principalities and fiefdoms seeing the benefits Bim brought, but with one stubborn exception; Hong Kong. Seeing it as almost his divine duty, Bim took it upon himself to conquer that semi-submerged volcanic caldera in the South China Sea. He has been there ever since. Hong Kong still stubbornly refuses to accept Bim, yet still he persists. Now entering the third decade of his second century of existence, he feels sufficiently knowledgeable to be able to pass on some of his experiences, here in this blog. Read on, brave adventurer!

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